Halsey is reflecting on the last decade of their lives.
A week before the “Without Me” singer is set to celebrate their 28Th birthdaythey penned a message on social media, admitting that—despite their height of fame—they too feel sad and lonely at times.
“I find that often there is a deep sadness inside me that no amount of worldly pleasure can touch, a loneliness, an emptiness,” the singer wrote on their Instagram Stories Sept. 21. “I wonder often if I chose the wrong life for myself. And the weight of it is suffocating. I’m sorry that melancholy has penetrated my art in a way that hasn’t served a greater purpose other than my own self loathing.”
Halsey then wrote that as they approach their birthdaythey are “just now exhaling and gasping for air for the first time since I took a single breath in this new life at 18.”
They continued, “I am wandering lawlessly and I hope to find my way somewhere meaningful soon so that I can give you the guys I’ve always known to scoop heapings of into your ears. They are shriveling lately. If you cannot be kind, at least be gentle. With love.”